I actually wrote this close to a year ago as a note on my Facebook page; a few edits later it is now today's blog post. Apologies to those who read it then and are now reading it again! Today, it is a very appropriate and relevant post about my house ;) I hope you enjoy it!


I have decided that I cannot be the only mother/wife on the planet with family members who need some remediation regarding household jobs. In an effort to help my friends keep their sanity (and see the floors and counters in their homes) I've decided to form the Owens Institute for the Chore Challenged. Below you will find classes currently available:


Treasuring the Empty Trash Can - If it's overflowing it needs to go out the door!


If the item you are trying to place in the trash can has to be balanced on the overflowing items already spilling out of the can, it's time to take the trash out! This course will cover how to remove the overflowing bag from the trash can, take said bag to the proper disposal area and place a new, empty bag in the trash can. Pictures of full vs. empty trash cans will be provided for reference.






Toss It In! - How to find and place your dirty laundry in the hamper/basket/pile all over the laundry room


While this comes as a shock to many a family member, it is NOT ok to disrobe in whatever room you happen to be in and leave the pile of clothes at your feet. Course will cover appropriate places to undress and where to place dirty clothing once removed from a body. Students will be provided with pictures of appropriate places for dirty laundry; please send either written directions or a map detailing the route to your laundry room/laundry hamper as many students are clueless as to where these things are located in their home.





Clearing a Path to Pleasantness - Basic picking up of items on the floor and returning them to their home

I've seen it a million times. Family members who will make a death defying leap over a pile of toys, or dishes that somehow made it to the family room floor, instead of picking the item(s) up off the floor and returning them to their appropriate place in the home. If you've been (or taken someone) to the ER for injuries related to tripping over toys, this is the course for you! Emphasis is placed on first noticing the pile on the floor and then recognizing the proper location to place the item.






Make a Match - How to place a PAIR of shoes in a location where you can find them again


If I had a nickle for every time I went in search of a shoe that was "lost"....Students successfully completing this course will recognize two matching shoes and master the art of putting both shoes, together, in a predetermined spot where they will be found with ease the next day. Students will need to wear/bring a pair of matching shoes to each class.




Sanford and Son Sabotage - Look! There's a lawn under all that stuff!


If you currently have enough bikes, scooters, balls and other outside toys scattered across your front lawn to cause people to think you are having a yard sale, you are not alone. Participants will learn the proper procedure for placing their outside playthings in a garage or other designated area. The use of bike kickstands, where to place a helmet so it can be found the next day and how to ensure there is room left for parking a car in the garage will be extensively covered and practiced.






REQUIREMENTS FOR ADMISSION TO OWENS INSTITUTE:


1. Students must be out of diapers and able to use the bathroom without assistance, regardless of the age of the student.